Finding My Way: From Recovery to Reunification
My Journey at firsthand started in January of 2023. I was nine months clean and still figuring out my footing in recovery. I had lost my daughter, I was living in a halfway house, and I was going to food banks to keep my head above water.
The day I saw the job posting for a firsthand Guide (Peer Recovery Specialist) and the values they were looking for, I knew I had found something special. The principles I had learned in Narcotics Anonymous- gratitude, acceptance, service work, faith and patience, could all be found in peer support work. I believe that my heart was made to assist and contribute to the welfare of others who struggle with serious mental illness (SMI) and substance use disorder (SUD) as I had. It seemed like a perfect match!
Fast forward to May 6th 2024- I had earned 2 years clean from all mind-altering substances and was able to find the right tools to keep my SMI dormant. This did not come easily. It took persistence, grit, and struggling through many hard days. During this time, I moved from Tennessee to Ohio and was able to transfer with my job at firsthand.
Both my firsthand team in Knoxville, TN and my Youngstown, OH team offered me compassion, empathy, love, and room to grow and learn. It was messy at times. But the teams saw something in me that I didn't not see myself. I realized then that the peer support model we practice at firsthand is also utilized within our own teams. We bring so much to each other's worlds. Every day that I walk into the office, I know my team has the same goals and mission as I do. I can rely on them, and they can rely on me.
As the month of May continued, many personal matters came up. I stayed focused. I remained biased toward action (a firsthand value) in both my work life and home life. I had to accept that life might not be what I wished for it to be- that I may not have what I want, but I have what I need. And what was in front of me wasn't actually bad at all. It was the BIGGEST BLESSING.
I found gratitude in my work. I was able to stumble but never fall. I had a safe space to practice professionalism and life with grace. I recognized that the people who surrounded me had similar stories. My colleagues were just a call or text away when I needed support.
My daily mission was to remain teachable and to keep pushing to be of value not just to others, but also to my daughter and myself. Outside of work, I always looked to my north star - my daughter, Penelope. After almost two years, on May 18th, we were reunited. I was able to kiss her, hug her and most importantly- remind her of the love that myself and so many others have for her.
I’ve learned that the grace and love we extend to others should also be given to ourselves. I cannot put into words the gratitude I have for firsthand and all of my team members there, who care and help their employees reach their full potential. I am thankful to all of my colleagues who have extended an olive branch to me and have helped my family come back together. We continue to change lives everyday, including our own!
